What is Your Heart’s Desire?

I used to believe in scarcity. All I wanted to do was to have freedom for writing and expressing my soul, find the way to support my dream and make my dream come true.

Life is not all about making money but it does make life more comfortable.

What is Your Heart´s Desire?

Would you like to stay at home and paint?

Would you like to take long walks in the nature and then go swimming in the clear lake?

Would you like to go fly-fishing?

Would you like to go on the safari?

Would you like to pamper yourself in the spa?

I was raised up in the religious family with twelve siblings
and learned to believe in scarcity. I wanted to find abundance
which is not only material wealth
but also abundance in all area of life.

It is creativity.

It is sexual fulfilment.

It is spirituality.

It is health.

It is intimacy.

It is healthy relationship.

It is connection with the nature.

It is not only freedom from the life style which is not satisfying – work, commuting to work, addictions, difficulties in the relationships – but also freedom for doing something that you always dreamed of.

I travelled all around the world and lived in twelve different countries
And was taught by several appreciated guru’s but finally found a half a guru inside of myself.

She knew that all she wanted to do was to have freedom for writing and expressing her soul.

I needed to find the way to support my dream and commit myself to change the outer circumstances in my life so that they would help me to make my dream come true.

I moved from the city apartment to the countryside close to the nature, forest and a big lake. I go walking every other day and do stretching and Pilates every other day. I eat healthy food but also indulge myself every now and then with chocolate and glass of wine. I allowed myself finally to have a loving husband and stopped running away from all the good things in life.


Do you want to live like everything is a wonder or nothing is a wonder to you? Do you want to stay living familiar, numbing and safe life, which is similar with everyone else’s life or do you want to walk on your own path, full of miracles?

As children we all were fully alive and present. We were curious and wondered our surroundings, we found constantly something new also in the familiar things, something that make us enthusiastic and made our imagination fly. I lost our sense of time, when we plundged to count the points at the back of the ladybird or made conecows or swam happily on the swimming ring made from tractor’s inner tube. Whn we grew up we rejected new experiences, landscapes and insights. We isolated ourselves into our small world and asked where did we lose our playfulness and imagination. We miss them, because without them we do not feel fully alive. We need to be children and adults at the same time and move towards our dreams regardless of our fear. We do not feel alive unless we dare to search and experiment our uniqueness despite of the fact that our uniqueness makes us sometimes also lonely.

Deep inside we all remember what is the flowing life and passion of existence like, because we were all born to this world fully alive, ecstatic beings. Our soul, body and mind were all one. We were perfectly beautiful beings, and did not question our beauty. But then already in our early years our mind, body and soul were torn apart, the suffering caused by separation started. We lost the connection between our mind, soul and body, and lost the connection with our inner being. Because that connection is the foundation of our happiness, we suffer if we are missing it.
The separation of our body, mind and soul is the origin of all suffering, our deep wound. All of them are meant for one body, oneness, divine being that from its own perfect oneness reaches towards the oneness of the university, and becomes one with it. This oneness we miss. We search for it everywhere outside of us without knowing, what we search for. Searching ourside of us is futile, because oneness is already within us. We only need to see and understand that in order to let go of the illusion of separation.

Our mind is only storage of the learned opinions and beliefs, which our body moves around. When body and mind do not communicate with each other, our body functions only as a vehicle for our intelligence. It has been taken away its original purpose to give us pleasure and intepretate our feelings. Then life juice compresses our a drop by drop and body gets pale and dry, until there is only a pile of bones and flesh left, body where nothing moves, no emotions, thoughts or spirit.

Without a connection with our soul we live dry and unnourished life. Soul is a channel for love to come to our life, so without sonnection with our soul we do not experience live and have feeling of the deeper meaning of life. We miss the taste of life: we miss emotions and their nuances; we miss ecstasy and joy of existence. We live numb and melancolic, our life is flat and nothing touches us. Nothing gets us to ecstasy and nothing makes us cry from pain. Our being is stagnant, musty and heavy. With the oneness of all our parts we live in the hell on the earth, anxious and sad. We have bottomless hunger and enormous longing, which cannot be satiesfied by the biggest amounts of food, alcohol, sex or drugs. When we are split on ourselves, we cannot experience oneness with the universe. Then we miss both its wisdom and limitless resources.

It is possible to bring our soul and body back to life, because we already have all the knowledge needed for that. We have bottomless wosdom, although it might not feel like that. By quieting down and listening to our delicate inner whispering, we can get answers for all our questions. We get guidance, if we promise to follow the instructions we receive. If we do not listen to delicate whispering of our inner being, it may start screaming. Our subconscious may create a situation into our life, where we are forced to stop listening and cahnging the direction of our life or we may lose our chance to happy life. Though we lost everything tangible – as I did -, we get much more instead, when we find ourselves. When we win our resistance and reject the misleading outside information, we get to dig into our inner being, and we will always have a refreshing, healing spring, unstoppable babbling of cleaning water. There we can go to rest whenever we like to.
Our soul is more valuable than all the treasures of the world all together. It is delicate and untouched, pure and deep part of our being. In the roots of the inner rainbow of emotions there is unmeasurably valuable treasure: our deepest being, we ourselves. It is our connection with the infinite wisdom of the universe and all the unvisible. It does not cling onto thoughts, objects or people but lives purely from joy and beauty. Its lifeforce is love and its fuel is emotions, from which it can create limitlessly whatever we can imagine. Our body is a doorway to the secret garden of our being. If we submit our body to be only a vehicle of our brains, we close the door to our secret garden and prevent us from finding a valuable treasure.

We have to find the key to the door of our secret garden, and we may find it while weeding the grounds of our heart. We have to have courage to make our hands dirty and start digging the ground of our heart, because before it has been plowed and weeded, new seeds cannot be planted. We need to get rid of all “Yes, but…” and “If we are realistic…” and “Let’s be reasonable….” – weeds frm preventing our dream to grow. After that we need to take care of the sprouting seeds and growing plants and provide tehm with sufficient light and nourishment.

All the doctor’s diagnoses lead us further away from the truth that our pain is longing for our true being. The answer has existed all the time in our heart and it is so simple that it has been difficult to believe. Our inner voice leads us away from fear and anxiety. It guides us and tells us to let go off our desperate clinging to the past. Gradually we understand the nature of the reality: constant change.

Every one of us has an opportunity to express our divine beauty in our daily life, because we are spiritual, divine beings, who are trying to learn to live in the human world. We are not fallen, sinful people trying to be spiritual. It is a big sin to deny our divine origin and our uniqueness; it is as if we refused to recive life the universe gave us. The universe gave us life as present and at the same time it made us responsible to create our life into a unique one. It also gave us skills and means to make our life into the most beautiful possible. Our gesture of gratitude for the universe is to celebrate our uniqueness and brighten our light the brightest one possible, our colors and dance the most passionate and deepest ones possible. Then we can feel fully alive.

When we find a connection with ourselves, we find the connection with our creativity, from which we are born. We get friends and guides on our path, and they bring joy to us. We get support for our way towards the fulfillment of our heart’s desires. We see the wonders in us and around us maybe for the first time. We understand the real purpose of life: love. When we embrace fully ourselves, we offer home for all parts of our being: mind, spirit and body, all what there is in us. Then we are not fighting against ourselves or trying to repress some part of us.

We realize that we are walking on the path meant for us, when the things start to happen in the right order. First small and then bigger miracles start manifesting in our life. There is a spark of magic in our life. We may for instance think of our friend who we did not hear for many years, and then the very same day she calls us. The misracles take place if we do not pass them indifferently but wonder them and thank the universe for creating our wishful thoughts into the physical form. We have to sniff and investigate everything curiously like a poppy, and continue even if we sometimes push our nose into a spiky bush. We know that the treasure will be found, when we just keep our eyes and ears open and keep looking. We need to wonder and celebrate everything we see, and thank, thank, thank for all the miracles.

Don’t we ever grow so big that we stop wondering the perfect beauty of raindrops, clear tone of birdsinging and smell of cut grass? When we invite our wondering child gently back to our life, our life is funnier and colors of our days brighter than in the role of a serious adult. Do you still remember what was the favorite game of your childhood? Did it happen to be “Ten sticks on board“ as mine? I still remember how it felt when I out of breath and heart beating managed to hide in the middle of the bush so that nobody could find me.

One lifetime is not enough for discovering all the wonders inside and outside of us. In the movie “The Last Samurai“ the only samurai alive guessed that his time to leave this world was not far away. Still he serene, because he had lived his life following his standards: he had served the Emperor, practised fencing, meditated in the temple, taken care of his dead brother’s family. He held a pink flower of a chrerry tree in his hand, looked at it ans said: “If I had all my life just been watching this flower, it would have been enough to make my life complete, as complete as this flower.“

A single flower is complete and hundreds of flowers blossoming together are complete, and not the splendour of one flower makes another flower any dimmer. We too are perfectly beautiful when have opened to fully blossom, and nobody else’s splendour dims our splendor. The only way to know what our journey could be like is to embark on the journey. It is better to talk less and do more, because already a single act os more powerful expression of our intention than a thousand wise theories. Idleness and indifference are abandoning God’s generosity and undermining our skills, and they will kill us alive before we have begun to live. That’s why every crisis, which we survive, is better than stagnancy. Our crises strengthen us and help us understand, how rich and beautiful life is, and what the waste is to worry about meaningless things.

We have given only limited time on the earth and we cannot know when our time is over. That’s why we need to live each day fully, as if it was the only day left. We have to use all our senses. We have to quieten to listen to whispering of our inner being. When we tune in to receive the message sfrom our angels, we can hear, how they remind us that the purpose of our life is to love and be compassionate toeards others and ourselves.
When we have found our inner truth, we can always listen to its voice by praying or meditating. Our inner being and God have both always known a truth about us, because there is no untruthfulness in our being. While praying we can always relive our past the way it has been, we can be naked without selfdeception, rejection or lies. We can again need, feel and think the things we did not dare to need, feel or think earlier. In that way we free ourselves to live this moment.

We have to keep our energy body clean and avoid all poisonous things, which threaten our living space. We can do it by consciously avoiding negative people; the ones who cultivate anxiety, shame, anger, depression, fear, complaining, moaning, apathy, stress, worry or guilt. When we encounter with an angry person, we can breath deeplt, send him friendly and loving thoughts and leave without a clash. Part of our selfcare is that we allow into our energy field only those people who bring love, peace and higher spiritual energy into our life. When we live in a quiet and clean environment and foster pace, we protect ourselves from attacks of the persons representing the lower energy levels. Then we can concentrate on our growth. When we clean our environment we search for higher spiritual energy and invite God into our life. In that way all the communication between others and us is actually about relatioship between our God and us. And although we have rejected God and turned our backs to Him and often only in distress remember His existence, He is ready to help us always when we receive His help.

Our own energy is our connection with our guiding angel who speaks us through our intuition and sensations of our body. We can talk to her and ask questions and requests. We can turn to her always when we need more clarity into our life or always when we want company or creative inspiration. When we trust our ideas and let our emotions to guide us in our life, we do not have to try to control everything with our intelligence. Our lifes gets clearer and events, things and people just happen to us all in the right place and in right time. When we follow our own truth, we are real, powerful and freely expressive, divine beings.
Life is not all about making money but it does make life more comfortable.
And opens doors to different possibilities of self-growth and adventure.
But one needs to find the way to cultivate his dreams
Comfortably. So that one lives following his heart’s desire
Which certainly is not to work like crazy and wake up too late in life and
Realize that life has gone without participating in it, without enjoying it fully, with all the senses, by seeing, smelling, feeling, hearing, tasting, using one’s intuition.

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