Sex is not just all about love, pleasure, and passion! Sometimes, some things can be out of your control. Being intimate with a guy is a choice, but his perception of you afterward can be out of your control.
what he thinks after you sleep with him? Whether you’re in a casual fling or a committed relationship, sex can be a complex subject matter! After an intimate moment with him, He might feel a boost in confidence, joy, love, guilt, or sadness! He’s most likely not critiquing your body and might be preoccupied with his other thoughts…
Sex can be a pleasurable act, but the act itself consists of the production of “happy” hormones that allow both of you to enjoy the experience! Before we talk about what your man thinks about you after sex. You have to understand the mechanism in which his brain reacts and responds to the sex, romance, and passion happening between you two!
With that said, Let’s take a quick crash course on how sex influences your hormones:
1. Oxytocin and vasopressin surge…
The thinking and anticipation of sex itself create an overwhelming feeling. Oxytocin and vasopressin may be released by your body in huge amounts, making you feel like you want to “cuddle” or do things.
Before and during sex, a guy’s brain is over-flooded with these stimulating hormones. This makes him excited and in lust. Oxytocin and vasopressin also help the guy form some kind of “attachment” afterward.
With that said, if you notice a change in his behavior, if he becomes sweet and “cuddly” all of a sudden. He might be showing these signs to you to initiate sex. This means that these hormones play a role in influencing his behavior towards you!
2. Dopamine rush!
During sex, neurons are overfired, creating massive amounts of the hormone dopamine. This hormone produces ecstatic and blissful feelings towards sex! Aside from the emotions he is feeling. Dopamine also has physical effects on a man’s body.
Dopamine will increase his heart rate, activate his reaction time, and make him feel “more lustful.” Remember that dopamine is the hormone responsible for your pleasure and reward center.
When he does the deed with you, his brain is rewarding him with huge dopamine surges that cause him to feel like he is on top of the world! Dopamine makes sex more fulfilling and exciting for both of you!
Remember that when you also do intimate moments with him, you are also experiencing a surge of these feelings and emotions. A woman and a man’s brain have similar responses when sex happens.
Remember that dopamine, vasopressin, and oxytocin come into play when you do the dirty deed with him. The passion, pleasure, excitement, and love can be felt through sex, and this can cause a connection afterward!
3. Endorphine release
Another interesting thing happens moments after orgasm. Remember that all those huge surges of hormones will not be permanent. After romantic sex with him, he might feel “tired” or momentarily detached afterward.
This is the refractory period in action, just like how a drug user feels the need for more drugs after taking one. This is because the hormones surging in the brain don’t last forever. The hormone level going down causes tiredness and sleepiness.
This might make him fall asleep faster than usual; the post-climax experience might also make him more “emotional.” This highly depends on the guy’s hormonal profile and personality. Alongside the rapid decrease of those “happy” chemicals, endorphins will be released, which relaxes the tension of a man’s body, making him feel sleepy afterward. This is the reason why some women complain that their partners sleep after coitus.
4. Testosterone and Estrogen: Main Sex Hormones
Last but not least, let’s not forget the main hormones that primarily affect sexual motivation in men and women — testosterone and estrogen.
Testosterone appears to be the primary hormone responsible for the high sex drive of men. Testosterone increases and decreases during and after sex. Testosterone usually fluctuates throughout the initiation and intimate processes.
Estrogen and progesterone, on the other hand, play a role in female sexual motivation. Estrogen has been found to increase sexual motivation and excitement in women, while progesterone decreases it.
It is important to understand that these two sex hormones play an important role in the duration and overall satisfaction of both individuals engaging in sex! These are all the hormones responsible for the sexual drive of your guy!
What’s On A Man’s Mind During Sex?
There can be plenty of things that come into a man’s mind when he is doing the deed with his partner. First, he feels the sensation of pleasure in his physical body, which makes him feel happy and excited.
During this time, his logic and judgment are clouded by lust and passion, and the primal brain is active and in control. This is when you might see the aggressive “man” inside of him that is repressed. He will be in charge, and he might be more dominant than usual.
After that, his conscious and logical brain may come into contact with his primal brain. This is when his instinctive thoughts come rushing, which might affect his sexual performance. He might think to himself, “Am I doing it right?” Or “Am I pleasuring her enough.”
He might also second guess his performance and might need feedback from you, regardless of how hot and steamy the sex is. Your man still feels an instinctual need to create mutual satisfaction for both of you, which is why he might ask questions or talk dirty during sex.
Other thoughts that would rise would be him admiring your body, being in lust with you as he keeps the pace going. He will also be conscious of not “coming” soon to keep the sex longer. To do that, he might think of random mundane things, such as thinking about a thing he did during high school.
The best thing you can do to make the sex even more exciting for him is to reassure him that he is doing his job well. Be adventurous, and do not hesitate to encourage him to try new positions. This will keep up the pace and ensure that both of you are having a good time!
What Does Your Man Think After You Sleep With Him?
After sex, you might be confused because of his actions. Remember the hormones that we discussed beforehand? He could be experiencing a refractory period, which is why it is important not to overthink things after sex.
However, the sex will create a long-lasting impression that will affect his way of thinking afterward. With that said, here are some of the most common thoughts that might come through a man’s mind after sex:
1.He Will Still Admire Your Body Afterwards…
Straight men are hardwired to find the female body pleasurable and exciting. After sex, your man might still have recurring thoughts in his head, thinking about how good your body is or how beautiful the shape of your body is in contrast to him!
Alongside that, he might also still be thinking about your boobs because, let’s face it, men are always enticed by breasts. Your boobs can be a focal point of pleasure in his eyes, which makes him happy and fulfilled.
He might get philosophical about the way he looks at your beautiful body, just like how most men think about the Roman empire. When he thinks about it and admires your body genuinely, there’s some sort of genuine admiration and honesty that comes from his male sexuality.
He might also notice other things about your body, such as your hair, your skin if you’ve got moles or birthmarks in any delicate areas, your eyes, and your cheeks. Essentially, any part of your body that is attractive to him.?
2.He Feels Like He’s On Top of The World!
Let’s face it: most men are driven by their egos. Getting sex is a huge satisfaction for them because it allows them to see themselves as the “man” they aspire to be. After sex, your man might feel lucky and happy that he just had sex.
You might feel anxious or worried, but don’t worry. It is highly unlikely they are judging you. Most of the time, they’re just up on cloud nine. Chilling and feeling happy. They might also feel romantic at the same time, making sweet but subtle gestures such as kissing your forehead or cuddling you.
This is the most common thought most men have after coitus. They feel happy and fulfilled, and this might increase their confidence. Men will also most likely feel romantic around their partner after sex. When he feels like he’s on top of the world, most likely, he has a very intense orgasm. Kudos to you!
3.He Will Worry And Wonder About His Sexual Performance
In some cases, especially for anxious men. The man you just slept with might wonder if you enjoyed the sex. He might feel anxious or worried about his overall sexual performance during the process, which might make him feel giddy.
During this time, he might ask plenty of questions. These questions might come running through his mind afterward. He might think to himself, “Did she enjoy it as much as I did?” “Did she come?” “Is she impressed by it or not?”.
The guy you just slept with might be completely preoccupied with these thoughts throughout the day. He might ask you these questions to settle down his anxiety. Remember that men are driven by their ego, so he will only validate his ego if he knows his skills are good during lovemaking!
Another reason why he is wondering about his performance is because he also prioritizes your pleasure! This is a good sign because it shows that he is not selfish in bed and wants you to enjoy it, too. Some men aren’t preoccupied by this, which gives them a bad reputation.
4.He Will Worry About Your Relationship Status With Him
This only applies to the guy you’re having a casual fling with! If you have been dating or hooking up for a considerable amount of time. He might worry about your current commitments with him. This is surprising because most women think that most guys are only after sex.
He might doubt himself if you reconsider having a relationship with him. He might worry whether you’re going to want a full-time committed relationship with him or you’re just going to continue seeing him on the side.
Whatever the reason might be, the most common reason why he thinks this way is because you both haven’t established a boundary between the two. Are you going to see each other casually, or are you two ready to settle down and build a relationship?
Whatever the case for both of you, it is always necessary for you to let him initiate it first. This is to avoid confusion. Men love to chase. It’s how they keep their attraction in the first place.
With that said, if you’re interested in having a committed relationship with him. Give him a few weeks to decide to let him initiate a committed relationship with you if he’s not interested and is just after sex. He might not consider bringing up that topic with you.
5.He'll wonder if you'll share your experience with your friends.
As much as men like to boast about their sexual conquests to their friends, Men will also wonder if this sharing of experiences happens to women. Most of the time, the answer would be yes. People, in general, love to gossip anything about romance and sex.
He will also be wondering if you will share your experience with your friends. In this case, he might also worry about their sexual performance. Your man might be preoccupied with these thoughts. This is to be certain that you enjoyed your time with him.
He might ask himself: “Will she let her bff know?” “What would her friends think if she shared about it?”. These questions would recur inside his head because he is anxious about whether the interaction is positive or not.
6.He Might Get Obsessed With You
The sex you have given him might be the most intense and orgasmic sex he has ever had. When this happens, most likely, your man might feel deeply infatuated with you afterward. When he feels this way, he might become enamored by the thought of you alone.
This, in most cases, will result in your man initiating to take your relationship to the next level! When he becomes obsessed with you, he will get addicted to the thought of having sex with you. He might envision your soft moans, whispers, your body, and how adventurous you were during the act. Certainly, there’s a specific thing you did that he still can’t get off his mind!
7.He Might Feel Guilty Or Used
In some bad cases, the guy you just hooked up with has terrible personal issues and is seeking pleasure outside of his life. He might get the pleasure he needs but will feel terrible afterward. This might make him feel guilty or emotional.
Worst case scenario, the guy you just hooked up with might feel terrible because he is cheating on his relationship with you! You might be panicking if the guy you’ve been with is judging you. However, trust me when I tell you that most guys are more preoccupied with their problems than thinking about you.
Sex can be enticing, but you must be careful of who you let into your body. Remember that sex can create instant attachment between the both of you. Whatever positive or negative emotions linger around the guy you’re around with latches on to you!
8.He’s Wondering If He’s A Rebound
After doing the deed, the guy you’ve been with might have these recurring thoughts about what you’re thinking during and after sex. He might wonder if you’re with him because you’re still not over your ex or if you’re just in need of physical pleasure but not love.
Sometimes, men are just like women; most people are insecure, and there’s a high chance that the guy you’re with has some level of insecurities within him. Post-coitus, he might wonder if you’re thinking about someone else while you’re with him. Particularly, he will wonder about this if you’ve mentioned a guy you’re crushing hard on.
The best thing you can do in this situation is to ask about this worrisome thought you have. Reassure him that you are thinking about him while doing the deed. You can also reassure him that he has done a wonderful job in pleasing you! This gives him back his confidence in his sexual performance.
9.He Might Have Thoughts About Your Sexual History
This doesn’t mean he thinks you’re easy. When he thinks about this, he is curious about your past romantic relationships and what the things that might make you good in bed are. Maybe he thinks that you’re too good in bed, and he thinks that this is because of your previous experience.
He might wonder about this and will want to reciprocate the experience. The guy you’re with might also be too shy to compliment you about it. Whatever the case, there’s often a sense of admiration for your sexual prowess when he thinks about your sexual history.
Of course, there would be some guys who are just plain assholes. They might think they’re entitled to a woman’s body and might think of derogatory terms for the woman they’ve been with after sex. This is why it is important to choose your partner wisely! When he shows narcissistic or sexist remarks after coitus. Run! The guy you’re with might not be good for you after all!
10.“This Was Fun, What’s Next Though?”
In the aftermath of an intimate encounter, the guy you’re with might be immersed in his existentialist thoughts. He might think, “Yes, the sex was good, but what’s after this?”. He might frequently find himself “wanting” to forge an emotional connection with you after the encounter. If not lovers, maybe as friends.
When he thinks about this, he is seriously reconsidering the future of your relationship. When he thinks about this, he may not just be in lust but also in love with you! This can be a good thing, especially if you feel the same way about him. To work things out, both of you must properly initiate in having a “serious” conversation on how both of you stand in the relationship.
Conversely, the thought of “This was fun, but what’s next after this” will also depend on whether the guy you’re with is serious with you or not if he is only looking for a casual relationship with you. He might just wonder how to get out of your house. When he thinks about this thought, he usually is back in his logical mind. His mind is not clouded anymore by lust or anticipation of sex.
How Can I Make My Casual Fling Fall In Love With Me?
This is in the context of you being in a causal relationship with him. If you want him to make the relationship more serious and committed, but you don’t want to ask first. There are some ways you can make yourself more irresistible so he can ask you out:
● Exude Confidence!
To exude confidence, you must feel attractive both internally and externally. With that said, you must develop your power to develop internal confidence. You must also do everything in your power to stay beautiful! Whether it’s having a healthy diet, going to the gym, having a proper skin care and hair care routine, and choosing the right set of clothes to wear.
When you properly take care of yourself, you are showing and presenting to him and every potential partner you meet that you are a prize! This gives you an aura of power and confidence, which can be undeniably sexy and irresistible!
● Have a life outside of him.
When you show independence, you show you don’t need him in the first place, and you’re just after the fun, just like him! Always show up independent and detached; you’ll be sure to find him even more obsessed with you than before! This is because men are always hardwired to chase the women they like!
Have fun with friends! Show your post-travels and dinner date! You can also make him a little bit jealous by showing the amount of guys who are interested in you. Do this by posting classy yet enticing posts on social media.
● Wear sexy dresses when you are with him.
An ideal wardrobe is the result of a combination of practicality, style exploration, and introspection. Always wear clothes that flatter your body, and do not hide it. Take stock of existing clothing to discern what complements your body shape and suits your taste.
When you know you’re about to meet him, prioritize versatility with mix-and-match pieces that express your individuality. In this case, showcase what it means for you to be “sexy.” Remember that being sexy is not about the body type but how you present yourself through your clothes and posture. When you do this, you’ll be sure to entice him even more!
● Wear a sexy scent.
You may spend a lot of time and effort selecting the ideal attire when you go meet him. Do not forget the importance of applying a sultry scent that will give a lasting impression on him! Although it may be subtle, scent plays a major role in attraction!
Different scents elicit different reactions in terms of attraction. For example, men find fruit, vanilla, rose oil, and lily of the valley scents to be particularly appealing. The secret is to find a perfume or fragrance that you enjoy wearing, and that blends well with your pheromones.
You can also wear a particular scent that matches the vibe of your outfit. For example, if you’re going for a simple minimalist white dress that is tame but still shows skin, you can try wearing vanilla-scented perfume that matches your aesthetic! If you’re going for a more femme fatale aesthetic with your all-black outfit, you can try finding a woody scent that matches the vibe!
● Be Mysterious
Men like a little mystery, aside from the fact that they love to chase and be part of a challenge. Part of their curious nature makes them more likely to find mysterious women attractive. To do this, you must keep things in your life hidden. Well, some of it, but make sure to give him a little details.
When you reserve some of the facts and data about yourself to the guy you’re casually hanging out with. You are shrouding yourself in mystery; he might hate to admit it, but he sure does like it. Withdrawing information allows him to look forward to learning about you over time. More time and interest in you means the more time he can initiate dating you!
Remember to take a deep breath and release all those worries you have about him! Sometimes, we care too much about what people think, and this applies to the guy you’re casually having fun with! Erase those negative thoughts. For the most part, the guy you’re with is enjoying the ride along with you.
Also, remember that not all men are created equal. There are some genuinely good guys and terrible ones. Some men pay equal attention to their partner’s pleasure during sex. Some are too selfish and are preoccupied with their pleasure. The best thing you can do is to choose your partner wisely!
So, to answer the question: What does your man think after you sleep with him? Simple, he’s probably feeling lucky, happy, and astonished! Alongside his desire and vulnerability, he’s most likely enamored by sharing this little experience with you. So give yourself a favor, don’t worry too much, and enjoy the moment!
Josephine Fuller is a contributing writer for dailytimesblog.com.
She is a Licensed Relationship Therapist, and She has been researching love and relationships for over 20 years. She specializes in relationship therapy, intimacy building, and existential exploration. She’s also an astrologer who uses the stars to explore and explain her unique perspective on life. With a special blend of wit, wisdom, and insight, Josephine brings the heavens down to Earth in her writing about astrology.