How to ask a guy if he likes you? Girl, we know the feeling. I know you want him badly, but you’re ever so worried about the social norms of asking a guy out. Alongside those concerns, we know you’d be worried about the risk you’re taking. What if he doesn’t like you and likes someone else? What if he’s not interested? Is he your friend, and do you regularly talk to him?
Whether it’s a guy you’re romantically interested in at work or school. We got you, girl! We’ll dive deep into the perfect ways to tell if he likes you back subtly! Without you looking like you’re drooling over him! How to ask a guy if he likes you? Read more to find out:
If you’re a heterosexual woman, you know the struggle. Fighting for patriarchy, yet you find yourself crushing on some of the most irresistible men out there. It could be their god-given looks, their beautiful smile, or their eyes. It could even be their height. Their physique and how they take care of it.
Some men prioritize their personality over their looks; some are the perfect gentleman that you can introduce to your family. Some excel in different areas, such as sports or their career!
Some would even show wonderful kindness that is just too attractive to bear! Some men would make you fall in love with their confidence and humor. Men are complex creatures, capable of being the best man out there or the worst one yet.
Whatever it is, there’s this one or two particular traits about him that made you fall in love. All of these qualities together make a man irresistible to women. A man with all of these things can be a perfect 10/10! However, that’s just not the reality.
If you have a crush on this guy and you want him to date you or be his girlfriend. You must understand that you must not put too much expectation on how the possible relationship will look like.
Instead, if there’s a possibility that you two pursue dating. Work on making the relationship as genuine and honest as possible. Accept his flaws and learn to love him for the golden qualities he has.
Know The Pros And Cons Of Confessing To The Guy You Like
It’s really hard to pin people unless they tell me directly. Regardless, there can be few body language signals that can be misleading. With that said the pros of being direct when confessing to the guy you like would be that you would know his answer right away.
The cons? The possibility of rejection, a greater chance of it, most probably. You have to understand that guys who are romantically interested in a girl would pursue and be active in doing so. This doesn’t mean that the guy you like doesn’t want you. Guys can be complex; some are shy, some are strategic in pursuing someone, and some are just plain impulsive and would go for the moment.
With that said, to be able to navigate this challenge and win successfully, you must weigh the risks and rewards. If you ever want to truly confess your feelings to the guy you want. Do you know him personally? If you don’t, and chances are you just know him from this one class, then it can be too risky since he doesn’t personally know you.
In cases where both of you are acquaintances or even friends, you must weigh how much time and importance he gives to you, particularly if he shows any sign of flirtation or interest towards you. Then, there can be a 50/50 chance of success if you ever confess to him.
This is why you must be sure that he likes you; when you know that he likes you, but he doesn’t tell you directly, it just tells you that he is afraid of rejection or too shy to ask you out. Then you wouldn’t have a problem putting him in the spotlight so you two can potentially date.
It’s easier to confess to a guy you like if you know yourself that he likes you back. If you’re very sure that the guy you’re crushing on is also showing signs of romantic interest towards you. Then, take a leap of faith and do it!
I know it’s challenging, but I do feel you! If you’ve been in so many relationships and situations or if you’ve been single for too long. It can be very difficult to tune in to your senses to tell if a guy likes you. Some guys are potentially hard to read, and some are very predictable. The best way you can do is to gather all the information you know before truly confessing to him.
It’s also incredibly challenging because you are putting yourself at risk here; it can be incredibly vulnerable once you are out there muttering your feelings to him on the spot.
Emotions can rush out, and it can potentially alter your relationship with him, especially if you have been friends for so long. Sometimes, there are women out there who would rather keep their romantic feelings that jeopardize their friendship.
However, just like what I’ve said, there is no risk, no reward. If you don’t express your true feelings, you’ll never get him to act on it. Worse, you’ll endure months or years of being romantically interested in him as you watch him potentially date other women!
Again, you need to make a plan if you truly want to confess your feelings to him. Before you do the big confession thing, you must outweigh the pros and cons that might come after your confession. Alongside that, it will be easier for you to confess if you know yourself that he likes you and is just shy.
As for fearing rejection, girl, I know you’re better than those negative feelings. Everyone on this planet fears rejection, and it is completely normal! I mean, what’s the worst that could happen? He could say he doesn’t feel the same way. Then, you can accept and move on and find someone better.
With that said, there are some perfect ways to tell and ask if a guy is romantically interested in you! You can use this as a tool to navigate your relationship with him:
1.How to ask a guy if he likes you: Get to the basics of socializing--break the ice!
Small talk is hated, but it’s incredibly helpful, especially in getting to know someone at first glance. Small talk helps break the ice between the both of you!
This heavily applies to you if you aren’t friends with the guy you are crushing on. Of course, to be able to talk to him, you must present yourself attractively while carrying yourself with the utmost femininity and elegance.
Give him a heads-up! Approach him in a way that it doesn’t look like you’re directly approaching him. For example, if you both share the same class, you can try sitting adjacent to him. Confidently introduce yourself, ask him a question or two, then give him a genuine compliment.
It can be his shirt, his bag, or the book on his hands. Try to scout for something interesting in him that can be given a compliment. This is a better way to approach him than just directly telling him he’s “handsome .”Everyone likes to be flattered by nice compliments; once you break the ice, it will be easier for him to approach you the next time you meet.
This is a very important tool that will allow you to get into his social circle if you confess too early without breaking the communication barrier. You might just come off as creepy or weird. By going to the basics of getting him to be your acquaintance, you can potentially create a friendship as you grow closer to him.
2.How to ask a guy if he likes you: Get him to do something for you
I know it can be a little unethical…but the only way you can get into his life and potentially like you back is by doing some things, particularly when you get him to do something for you. It automatically activates the hero complex that every guy has. You are subconsciously implying your femininity, and therefore, he would find it attractive.
To get him to do something for you, first, you must be in close physical proximity to him. Like, let’s say, for example, you both are included in a lunch meeting with your workmates. Ask him a little favor that he can surely do. This is a subtle manipulation tactic to get him to like you.
For example, if you’re in a group with him at the dinner table. Ask him to pass the salt or water, or you can try telling him to taste the flavor of the meal and give a critique about it.
The most effective would be letting him protect your stuff. You can try saying, “Can you keep an eye on my stuff for a second while I go to the bathroom?”. This helps him engage with you in a very comfortable way.
When you get him to do something, you are appealing to his primal mind. Alongside that, you can observe whether he is readily compliant or not if he shows positive communication towards you. It indicates that he is readily interested or sees you as a “friend.”
3.How to ask a guy if he likes you: Look out for his body language that might scream--ATTRACTION
When you’re considering asking him out for a date or if you’re planning to confess to him. There may be some subtle body language signs that indicate the presence of sexual and romantic attraction towards you. In fact, in most dating scenes, people tend to signal out “cues” that indicate romantic interest instead of directly telling someone.
It’s a piece of good news if your gut is telling you that he likes you. He may not say it directly, but there can be nonverbal signs that he is consciously and unconsciously giving out signals that he wants you. With that said, pay very close attention to how he acts around you and how he treats you compared to his female friends.
Does he get giddy or nervous around you? Does he lean towards you when he talks? Does he ask too much information about you? Does he ask for any suggestions? Does he smile and talk deeper in his voice, way more than usual? These are often some of the signs that indicate he may be interested in you but is just too shy to ask you out.
When he does the opposite of what a positive attraction is like, he may be unwillingly standoffish or snobbish. He might not be keen on talking to you and is way more focused on talking to his friends. Other signs that indicate that he’s not openly interested in you are lack of eye contact, keeping you at a distance, and closed-off body language such as crossed arms or legs.
In this case, he may not be interested in you. It’s probably best if you just keep your feelings to yourself since there’s a high chance of rejection. However, the choice is still up to you. One can choose to be brave and accept the consequences or just let your feelings pass out.
4.How to ask a guy if he likes you: Try to make him jealous!
Another good way to tell if a guy likes you or not! This is another subtle manipulation tactic that you can use to tell if he likes you or not. When you try to make him jealous, it can result in two things — either he becomes infuriated that you’re dating, or he will be happy for you.
To do this, you can try sharing with him real or not real circumstances or experiences where guys have openly asked out. Tell him there’s this guy that keeps on bothering him. If he shows body language of distress and tells you off that you can do “so much better,” It usually indicates jealousy, which is a good sign!
However, if he doesn’t seem to be bothered that someone is trying to pursue you, it usually indicates that he just sees you as a friend and nothing less than that. Remember, there are still outliers for this kind of situation. Few men are particularly good at hiding their emotions and maybe showing the opposite of what they truly feel.
Still, this is a pretty good subtle way to tell if a guy likes you or not. Remember, it is not a foolproof solution! At the end of the day, you can only truly tell if a guy likes you or not if you try to communicate word-by-word how you truly feel about him!
5.How to ask a guy if he likes you: Subtly ask him out by displaying confidence
Confidence is what truly makes a person stand out like a sore thumb in the room. It makes someone vastly appealing and attractive. Think about it: When was the last time men had been gushing over someone who was insecure, shy, and permanently unhappy? Guys and girls seem to be more drawn to people who display confidence. It indicates an assurance of oneself, power, and dominance.
With that said, if you are confident in the way you speak and present yourself. Even the slightest asking him out for a “date” joke might be taken seriously. Confident women own the social dating scene because they relish happy banter and flirting without notice. Everyone seems to have fun with it, and guys are cool with it, so why not take the chance to flirt with him?
Men are more likely to pursue women who openly show they are worthy of dating. Many men wouldn’t bother a woman who doesn’t want to date. This is the reason why they also choose who they ask out carefully.
Ask him out by giving out clues that you’re interested in him. Tell him subtly that you are interested and see how he will react. For example, you can say things like, “You haven’t noticed that I don’t hang out with most guys these days. There’s something about you I can’t pinpoint, but I’m here for it”.
You can even say things like: “How do you feel about going out as more than friends?” or “You’re a lucky guy because I’m giving you my attention right now .”When you do this, you are already triggering him by telling him hints that he should ask you out. A positive response would go along the way when you say these lines, and it indicates that there is attraction on both sides.
6.How to ask a guy if he likes you: Jokingly tell him if he wants to ask you out on a date
This is also a form of subtle manipulation, so do it at your own risk! The trick here is to make it seem like he can just ask you out on a date, and you’d agree to it. Most women who fail to do the trick here make it seem like they’re too clingy or desperate by asking unnecessary questions. Things like, “Why don’t you just ask me out? Is there something wrong with me?”.
Phrases like this indicate an insecure and needy nature, which is a turnoff, regardless of whether the guy likes you or not. To be able to pull this off, you need to turn on your humor and make it seem like he can just easily push the button to date you.
For example, tell him phrases like “You’re funny; what would even be funnier is if you wanna go out on a date with me? Wanna do it tonight?”. When you do this, you are already subtly telling him to date you without looking needy!
7.How to ask a guy if he likes you: Keep on giving him hints that you're single and open to date
Last but not the least. Give him a green flag sign that you’re single and ready to mingle! To be specific, tell him that you require a man to sweep off your feet right now. It can be anyone, including him. By giving him the green signal, you are also telling him to “hurry up, time’s ticking!”. If he doesn’t date you, other guys will.
This is a form of subtle flirtation. Alongside these things, you can also try making him realize things. Make a point of spending time with him. Ask him those moments why it’s just the two of you hanging out alone. You can even try texting him subtle flirtatious messages that will make him think.
It is also important to take note that you should always be your best self whenever you’re meeting him. If you’re too comfortable with just not dressing nicely with him, it shows off that you’re not interested. Therefore, make it a point to dress to impress! After all, you want to impress him, right?
8.How to ask a guy if he likes you: Do the subtle asking
The subtle asking is the most obvious thing a girl can do to show his feelings for a guy! I’m pretty sure 99.9% of guys on this planet would understand this. With that said, before you try confessing and pushing yourself that far out of your comfort zone, try the subtle ask.
To do this, ask him to spend time alone with you. Make him feel as comfortable as possible. When you’re together, and he’s comfortable, let him know you like him, but you will not do anything about it unless he initiates it first.
You can say things like, “I like how our friendship has been going for a few months,” or “I think when we’re paired together, we can make wonderful things.” You can even thank him for how physically or emotionally supportive he is. By doing the subtle asking, you are already rubbing it in his face that you truly like him, and it’s up to him if he will reciprocate the feelings or not.
You must speak with him face-to-face so you can assess his response. Be prepared for his possible surprise. But that doesn’t imply he doesn’t feel the same way about you. Maybe he didn’t know how to bring it up on his own. Either way, the way he responds and his type of reaction will tell you if he likes you back or not.
9.How to ask a guy if he likes you: Show him that you like him instead of telling him directly
Sometimes, actions speak louder than words. In this case, it can be a very obvious sign that a girl likes a guy if she tries to go out more to make the guy happy. In this case, if you are eager to pursue him. You can go all out by showing him that you truly care for him and that you have the best intentions.
By showing him that you like him instead of telling him directly, you are letting him know by actions that you’re into him. It is up to him if he will reciprocate the romantic feelings or not. To show this through actions. You can do little things like giving him little notes to cheer him up, bringing him coffee, taking him out on lunch, and giving him small yet meaningful gifts, words of affirmation, and compliments.
Surely, these things will let the guy know you are interested in him! I mean, those are pretty obvious things that you wouldn’t do to a guy you’re not interested in. With that said, there is a little risk here since you are not telling him directly that you like him. It is up to him to interpret these actions. If he likes you, he will confess his feelings to you and reciprocate the kindness you gave him.
10.How to ask a guy if he likes you: Just straight up ask him out
When none of those things can give you a proper answer, then you’re down to the last resort. You can only truly find out what he feels about you if you just straight up ask him. Sometimes, it is truly better to be direct and upfront instead of going sideways to a problem.
When you try a direct approach, it is important to be as formal and as respectful as possible. Tell him how you truly feel about him, then ask him what he feels about liking you. If he tells you he feels the same way, then congratulations! You can begin the process of dating. If not, then you have the choice of whether to remain friends or not.
Remember to ask with a smile and positive body language; this is a 50/50 scenario. You can either go home feeling happy you just confessed your feelings, or it could be days or weeks of crying and sulking in your room. However, it’s a choice for you to make.
What If He Doesn’t Return My Feelings For Him?
I know it hurts; I’ve been there too many times before. Being rejected feels like the world is not going to favor you. There’s just a lot of emotions in your plate right now. It may feel like he’s the one for you. But trust me, he’s not, and at the end of the day, you’ll find someone who is truly meant to be with you!
Grieve the relationship you never had and move on. When you eventually find a man who is exactly right for you, you’ll understand why you need to go through this experience to stay true to your path for love, even though you can’t see why you’re not a good fit with him right now.
If you’re friends with him, give yourself some space to consider your emotions. You may avoid his company for a few weeks as you tend to your hurt feelings. Tell him that you need some time, be honest about it, but also that you value your friendship and that you’ll get back to him when you’re ready.
Remember, in these tough times, what you need is:
- A couple of good friends to hold onto
- A proper chick-flick to cry yourself out
- A couple of good treats to fill your tummy out
- A journal to truly express your hurt feelings
- Another journal where you can write your goals that should be achieved!
- Yourself – you need some time to think and breathe. Everything will be fine!
What you don’t need to do would be:
- Stay on your phone and stalk him – Don’t do it! Mute him on socials (or block him!)
- Become self-destructive – with your unhealthy habits and choices
- Not take care of yourself – stay beautiful and glamorous! Prioritize health always!
- Hold onto the past – if you’re having difficulties, therapy will help!
It will not be the end of the world if he rejects you. Life will continue doing its course, and so will you. Remember to learn and accept that nothing will be for you in this lifetime, so sit back and enjoy the process of learning, loving, growing, and accepting! I know you can do it! You will be over him eventually!
Enjoy the rollercoaster of emotions that rush when you confess! It’s purely normal, and everyone will experience it! Confessing your feelings is just like betting on a game; you win, or you lose. But it’s not the end of the world! Don’t allow it to damage your ego, even if the man you’re into doesn’t feel the same way.
Rejection is just someone’s opinion; keep that in mind if he doesn’t reciprocate the romantic feelings you had for him. It could be for other reasons. Perhaps he’s just not truly interested in anyone at the moment.
Maybe he’s looking for someone who looks the opposite of you in appearance. Or maybe he’s swinging the other way. Remember, it’s not your issue, and take it with a grain of salt!
People can be complex, and as long as we haven’t developed a telepathic machine that can tell a person’s thoughts and feelings. The only way we can ever be sure about it is by talking. So don’t be afraid to speak your mind and listen to your feelings for once!
Josephine Fuller is a contributing writer for dailytimesblog.com.
She is a Licensed Relationship Therapist, and She has been researching love and relationships for over 20 years. She specializes in relationship therapy, intimacy building, and existential exploration. She’s also an astrologer who uses the stars to explore and explain her unique perspective on life. With a special blend of wit, wisdom, and insight, Josephine brings the heavens down to Earth in her writing about astrology.