Ah, the fuzzy feeling you have when your crush walks into the room….you feel all the butterflies flying chaotically inside your stomach; you might be wondering if you should act upon it or just ignore the feelings you have for them.So, How long does a crush last?
How long does a crush last? In general, there’s no definite period of how crushes should last. However, many people who have a crush usually have these lingering attractions within 4-5 months after meeting the person of interest. Find out more about the stages of crush development in this article!
Crush, infatuation, and obsession can often be used to describe similar patterns of attraction towards someone. However, they’re COMPLETELY different from each other. These terms are often used to describe different levels of romantic attraction to someone!
Alongside that, a crush, infatuation, or obsession can vary in intensity and duration. While these terms are sometimes used interchangeably. These terms generally refer to distinct experiences a person can experience during romantic and sexual attraction. Here’s a brief overview of the differences:
Having A Crush On Someone
Having a crush on someone means you have a certain romantic attraction that is relatively mild and transient. It may be because of their looks, their personality, how they carry and present themselves, their cute mannerisms, or their ability to be soft-spoken and intelligent. This quality draws you to them.
You feel magnetized by their presence, and you want to get to know them better. You want to hang out with them and possibly be “friends,” at least. Crushes are a common thing within social groups and can be seen as a normal part of human interaction. The lingering attraction is present but not as strong as infatuation or obsession.
The feelings you get are often “childish-like.” You get to feel fun and flirtatious around the person. This is the very first stage you get when you are attracted to someone. The feelings associated with crushes are also not that overwhelming; some crushes may fade over time, especially if there is no further interaction with the person. But some crushes can turn into full-blown infatuation.
Experiencing Infatuation With Someone
Infatuation is the next stage in the development of a crush. Infatuation is termed as the form of attraction towards someone that is intense and consuming. During this phase, you may succumb to idealization of the person you’re dealing with. With the feelings of infatuation, you have a strong urge to be in a relationship with a person.
You will do subtle and not-so-subtle things just to get with the person you want to be with. During this time, you may also experience strong emotional reactions towards the person of interest. You may also experience jealousy or envy when that person of interest goes to show romantic interest to someone.
With infatuation, you are focused on receiving any positive reaction to the romantic actions you are showing the person of interest. Again, just the same with developing a crush, infatuation can be short-lived or may develop into a deeper, more lasting connection. Regardless, infatuation is stronger than a crush but not as intense as an obsession.
When You Get Obsessed With Someone
The last stage of attraction, obsession, is the extremely intense form of attraction towards someone. It goes beyond normal attraction and can lead to intrusive thoughts, compulsive behaviors, and an inability to focus on other aspects of life.
An unrealistic and inflated view of the person may be present in an obsession, which frequently ignores the person’s shortcomings or negative aspects and can be detrimental to one’s well-being. Obsession can also lead to unhealthy behaviors. You may often find yourself preoccupied with the person’s daily life.
In certain severe situations, obsession can develop into stalking behaviors, which puts the person experiencing the obsession and the object of their obsession at risk. When obsession kicks in, this idealized form of someone can often be debilitating.
In summary, obsession refers to a more intense and possibly dangerous degree of fixation on someone, whereas crushes and infatuations are typically accepted as normal and can be a natural part of the human experience.
How Long Do Crushes Last? (A Comprehensive Guide)
A crush can last a minute, a day, a whole week, or even several months; it’s even possible that a crush can last an entire year! Regardless, we speak of the word “crush”. We use it to define a strong but short-lived feeling of romantic attraction towards someone.
In recent studies Acquired and published by dating experts and psychologists. Having a typical crush on someone can last between ONE and FIVE MONTHS if the feeling of romantic and sexual attraction persists after that period. It’s already called infatuation or being “in love.”
Typical crushes don’t have a set time limit. There are varying degrees of crushes. There are some crushes that you might get over in a week. But some have a strong hold on you years later.
You need to remember that having a romantic attraction for someone is completely normal and healthy. Not only that, but it also makes living bearable and worthwhile! Having crushes is fun! Most crushes can be light-hearted and childish; some can even end up becoming a thrilling and exciting relationship! And some can end with a broken heart.
This answer is based solely on statistics and some studies. Before you start to worry and bother about your normal romantic attraction to someone, the real thing is that you can never put your feelings and make it into a whole statistic. We’re all different, whether you’ve been in love with a person for just a week or months. It’s completely normal, and your feelings are valid!
Why Do Some Crushes Last That Long?
The answer lies with fixation. When you fixate on your romantic feelings for someone, you never do anything to show it. It could lead to you being more romantically delusional than the rest of the people who have typical crushes. This is due to a lot of reasons: you may be shy, you might fear rejection, you have issues you’re not friends with your crush, and so on.
When you fixate on your romantic attraction to your crush, it might be difficult for you to act on it. Rather, you will indulge in creating these elaborate and passionate fantasies about being with your crush. Alongside this fixation, you might also idealize your crush too much. This can create a different expected outcome for you.
You might end up feeling sad when you realize that your crush was a different person in contrast to how you might “idealized” them. Some crushes that last that long can be present in different settings such as workplace, school, or social group settings.
What Are The Types Of Crushes?
There are several types of crushes. Let’s discuss them one by one:
1.Your First Crush
Your first crush, as the name suggests, is the person who sparked your romantic awakening as a child or a teenager. They were the first person you ever had a crush on. They’re most probably your playmate or best friend, even your neighbor or a person from your hometown.
Either way, they were the first person who you cared for. Call it nostalgia, but for some reason, this type of crush tends to linger for a long time. They have a unique hold on you because they introduced you to the idea of loving someone.
2.The Workplace Crush
The workplace crush, as the name suggests, is the crush you have in your work settings. Of course, the time you spend at work can be greater than at home, and you might significantly find yourself becoming closer to this crush. Maybe it’s the boring life of the workplace or both of you bonding or how toxic your boss is.
3.The Grownup Crush
Mommy and daddy issues coming out of your attraction…We know it’s difficult to resist! But just the same with your other crushes. Having a crush on someone older and more of an authority figure can be fairly normal for most people. The Grownup crush can be your boss, your manager, your professor, or another authoritarian figure.
This type of crush can be difficult to navigate because the attraction can be completely one-sided, and it can go wrong in so many ways. The power imbalance and the unruly boundaries can make up for it. However, we do understand why you would be attracted to someone who seems to have a lot of wisdom, power, and resources.
4.The Random Crush
As the name implies, this crush randomly spurted out of nowhere. You don’t know why you strangely like them. They could be a friend or acquaintance from a social group who just happens to look weirdly cute.
Or maybe they’re well-spoken in their craft, and you’re drawn to their passionate side. Whatever it is, you seem to be completely drawn to them outside of their appearance!
5.The Holiday Crush
Also known as the foreigner crush. There’s just something irresistible about foreign men; it could be their language and how they speak with an accent, or it could be due to their mannerisms or appearances.
Whatever it is, you’re just intoxicated with the idea of being with them. This type of crush is perfect when you want to explore the idea of hooking up! It never hurts trying to be flirtatious, just like anyone!
6.The “Purely Out Of Looks” Crush
Let’s face it: most people are driven to attraction by looks. It’s not to say that most men and women out there are shallow thinkers; however, when we look closely into romantic attraction and lust.
There are just some beautiful people out there that are worth labeling into the “crush” category! It could be their eyes, their smile, their jawline, their height, or just the whole package!
7.The Long-Lasting Crush
This is the type of crush that is soul-crushing, and it can develop into deer infatuation or obsession. This long-lasting crush could just be anyone you meet in your life. You long for their time and affection to the point of obsessive-compulsive thoughts.
Worst, you can develop emotional dependence on them. This is why it’s good to develop healthy habits and boundaries that inhibit you from developing unhealthy thoughts about the person.
How Do I Know If My Crush Likes Me Back? (Subtle Signs To Remember)
If you and your crush have known each other for quite some time now, and you want to know if they’re showing positive signs of attraction. Look for these specific signs that indicate they might reciprocate the feelings you initially have for them:
1.They Positively Respond To Your Flirting
If your crush is into you, they will positively respond to your moves to flirt and talk with you. You will usually see that their body language is more engaged towards you. They might throw a banter or two. They will also be engaged in conversation with you; they will be flirtatious, which is unusual if you guys consider yourself as just “friends.”
2.They Initiate More Time To Be With You Alone
Suppose your crush is telling you that they want you both to hang out alone outside of your friend or social group. This might indicate that there’s more than meets the eye! When they initiate or ask you to accompany them in intimate settings, it usually means that they’re also in tune with their romantic feelings toward you!
3.Their Body Language Changes Around You
Certain gestures differentiate physical contact between platonic and soon-to-be romantic friends. If you and your crush have been friends for a while now, and you notice that they are giving other forms of romantic gestures, such as holding your hands or wiping out your tears when you’re upset or sad. It indicates a clear attraction towards you also!
4.They Want To Get You Know More
When your crush wants to get you to know more, it usually implies a degree of intrigue and curiosity about you and your life. This type of intrigue only applies when you have a romantic attraction towards someone. With that said, if they’re particularly bugging you with certain questions, especially about your past romantic relationships, It usually implies that they also have feelings for you!
5.They Tell You Directly!
As mentioned beforehand, proper communication of feelings can only break the barrier between the both of you if your crush has told you that they have a crush on you. It is a crystal-clear sign that they like you too! In that case, you are lucky, and you should pursue the chance to get with them!
Do You Want To Pursue Your Crush Or Just Give Up?
Unrequited feelings can be painful, but unsaid feelings can be more painful. Are you ready to face the time when your crush will inevitably fall for someone else and watch while that happens, or are you brave enough to confess your feelings and take a leap of faith?
Just as how fun having crushes can be, it can be incredibly painful to have the circumstances work against you. Sometimes, there may be other reasons for you to give up and walk away. It can be because your crush just sees you as a friend. (no signs of attraction like the signs mentioned beforehand).
Maybe they like someone else, or worse. They might like your best friend and not you. Whatever those reasons might be. If you’re convinced the only thing you need to do now is move on, then we have the steps that you need to do to make sure you get over them in no time!
How To Get Over Your Crush? (5 ways to do it)
Now that you know how long a crush lasts, you know what type of crush it is. You have decided to get over it. Then, there are the essential steps that will break the spell and end your romantic feelings towards your crush!
1.Assess The Reason Why You Liked Them In The First Place
You need to get to the bottom of the reason why you find them attractive in the first place; it could be because they’ve shown you kindness before, and that act of kindness still lingers on. Maybe it’s because of looks, and you’re not looking past the person’s appearance. Self-assessment can greatly benefit you and give you a mirror on what certain aspects of your life you should look at.
If you like the person, you will not just see looks or the outward things. You will value their actions and attitude. When you assess yourself, you are also looking deep into the reasons why you’re probably having delusions or fantasies about them. When you know yourself, these unhealthy fantasies are playing out and affecting your life. You can choose to be responsible and learn how to be grounded.
2.Express Your Feelings To Them
Expressing your feelings is the best way to get over them. Whether the conversation turns positive or negative, you have to realize that there’s no need to go sideways when you can just be upfront and direct with the person.
When you confess your feelings to your crush, you are giving love to yourself. You are not letting yourself bottle up these emotions. You can do this by initiating a proper time to ask them out, maybe for coffee or a walk in a nearby park. Tell them how you feel about them; who knows, you might be in for a surprise yourself.
However, do not place too many expectations on them If they tell you that they feel the same way. You can take the next step in the relationship; if they don’t, at least you’ll have clarity in mind on where you stand. You can also rightfully begin the process of your healing journey.
3.If Your Crush Rejects You – Accept and Move On
As mentioned beforehand, if they tell you that they only see you as friends and nothing more than that, remember that it is not the end of the world! There are many people out there who would be happy to share a life with you! We know it’s hard and painful, and that’s why we recommend that instead of bottling up those emotions. Just take a breather and grieve.
Take it like a breakup scene, cry, and mourn for your love that’s wasted. Be angry and let those emotions out of your system. It’s a healthy process of moving on. When grieving, it’s also important to take care of yourself afterward. Go ahead, buy yourself some ice cream, put on cozy sweaters, and watch some good movies.
Remember, it’s okay to allow yourself to grieve in whichever manner you want to. Even though there was never a relationship in the first place. You have placed too much of your time and attention on them. It’s also important that this step is the actual realization that your crush is not the one for you. Let it all out and move on!
4.Cut Them Off From Social Media
The fact that you’re still following each other on social media can be difficult for you. It just makes you remember all the bad things you want to forget now. With that said, it’s best if you do not stalk them on social media. Delete all the photos you have with your crush, and unfollow them on all social media platforms! You can even go as far as block them!
We know it’s hard, but we’ve been there. The process of moving on will just become easier if you do not subject yourself to seeing them chronically, especially online. Trust us, you’ll get over your crush soon once you forget about them!
5.Vent Out To Your Friends And Family
There’s nothing more inherently valuable than having close and genuine friends and family you can confide in. The world is already hard enough; you need people by your side to support and cherish you. When you vent out to your friends and family about your problem, you are letting out all those negative emotions and not letting them torture you.
There are lots of benefits to venting out; it releases pent-up emotions and fastens up the process of moving on. When you vent, you are telling the whole world that you will not be victimized by your own emotions anymore. You are confident enough to let it all out.
6.Create Distance Between You and Your Ex-Crush
Distancing yourself from your ex-crush every day can help you feel less infatuated with them if you’re trying to get over them. The no-contact rule helps you move on from a crush. At this point, you need to create a distance to reduce their influence in your life.
You can do this by making small changes that prevent you from seeing them. In this case, you both see each other in school or work. Create an impenetrable boundary that will not let them in, for instance, if they engage in talking to you and your workmates. Try not to engage with your crush and just let them be.
Suppose you’re serious about getting over them. Try to make sure that your schedule is different from each other so you don’t come running across each other every day. Change your schedule; when you do a few things like this consistently, you are emotionally detaching yourself from them.
7.Focus On Your Life!
Get back on track! Pursue your dreams and goals one by one! Be strategic and learn how to be consistent in managing your goals. It can be your career, a creative pursuit, a passion, or a business. Just do anything that will make you busy. When you focus on getting your life back on track, you are showing dedication to yourself!
This period will also be a good time to give yourself a makeover! Change your hairstyle and adopt a new routine and style that suits you! Be physically active and try new hobbies and activities.
Make yourself attractive in many ways possible! Not only are you physically attractive, but you’re also financially and emotionally getting ahead of life! When you focus on becoming the best version of yourself, dating will be easy. Remember, you are unstoppable!
Josephine Fuller is a contributing writer for dailytimesblog.com.
She is a Licensed Relationship Therapist, and She has been researching love and relationships for over 20 years. She specializes in relationship therapy, intimacy building, and existential exploration. She’s also an astrologer who uses the stars to explore and explain her unique perspective on life. With a special blend of wit, wisdom, and insight, Josephine brings the heavens down to Earth in her writing about astrology.