Home » 20 Signs Your Wife Is Not Sexually Attracted To You (5 Things to Fix It!)

20 Signs Your Wife Is Not Sexually Attracted To You (5 Things to Fix It!)

by Josephine Fuller

Signs that your wife is not sexually attracted to you? In this article, we will talk about the obvious and not-so-obvious signs that your wife or female romantic partner is losing sexual interest in or sexual attraction to you. 

We’ve compiled the signs but don’t worry! We will also discuss effective solutions to fix the decreased sexual attraction in your wife. Sit back, relax, and read the signs carefully!

1.Your wife is not initiating contact anymore

A wife who is sexually attracted to her husband will initiate sexual and romantic contact with or without notice. Depending on your wife’s personality, your wife can make subtle or direct advances that show she wants sex with you.

From touching the groin area to kissing erogenous zones like the neck and ears, even a direct conversation that states she wants you to make love to her is a clear indication of sexual attraction and love. If you’re not getting any of this, it might indicate disinterest.

With that being said, one of the crystal-clear signs that your wife is not sexually attracted to you is when she doesn’t like the idea of having sex or shrugs you off whenever you make advances. 

If you’ve been noticing you’re the only one initiating the contact or if you find yourself almost begging your wife for some intimacy, she’s most likely not sexually attracted to you.

2.Your wife doesn’t compliment you

Just like men, women tend to offer compliments especially if they find something pleasing to look at. If your wife doesn’t compliment you or you’ve never experienced being complimented by your wife, it means your wife doesn’t find you sexually appealing.

Compliments go hand in hand with flirting and playful banter. These behaviors are often the communicative signs that someone is interested in you. If you’ve noticed a lack of flirtatious behavior in your wife, it indicates that her sexual interest in you may have faded away.

3. Your wife is not affectionate towards you 

Women are hardwired to show physical and emotional affection to the object of their desire. Similarly, in romantic relationships and marriages, many women tend to show signs of being “clingy” or “touchy” about their partner.

They behave like this way to get love and attention from their male spouse or partner. The lack of physical affection such as wanting hugs, kisses, or cuddles could indicate that your wife might have become less interested or invested in the relationship.

A lack of affection could be one of the clear signs that your wife is losing sexual interest in or sexual attraction to you. If she becomes cold all of a sudden or is building impenetrable personal space, it might indicate that she’s not interested anymore.

4. She avoids eye contact with you

Eyes never lie, in this case. Eyes often tell how deeply you are attracted to someone. You can’t help but stare right into someone who has you in a chokehold. Well, this might not be the case for your wife losing sexual interest in you.

If you’ve noticed that she avoids eye contact with you, such as looking away while talking to you and not communicating with you through her eyes, it indicates secrecy and that she’s hiding something. 

signs my wife is not sexually attracted to me

5. Your wife hangs out with her friends “too” often

Let’s face it, aside from their spouses, women also love to be in the company of other women with whom they can emotionally connect and gossip! Women are social butterflies who often form “cliques” and groups to establish connections and “soft” power.

Women who are in committed relationships, however, will spend most of their time seeking the affection of their partner. With that being said, if your wife suddenly becomes more absent at home and more present at her friends’ brunch or late dinner parties, it could mean she’s bored at home and disinterested in you.

Also, beware of those all-girl parties that she might be recently attending. In these parties, she may wander off and do things provocatively. If your wife is actively going to these all-girl parties, it could be a sign that your wife is looking for someone else. These hangout nights with friends could be a way for her to cheat.

6. Your wife lacks engagement during sex

If your wife is nonchalant and lacks active participation, or looks bored in the moments of intimacy, it could be a sign that your wife is not sexually attracted to you or is losing sexual interest. 

Like men, women are hardwired to view sex as something passionate and exciting. Even for women, the thought of sex can be addicting and all-consuming. It means that your wife is supposed be excited and at least passionate about you while doing the dirty deed!

If the sex between you and your wife is lackluster and becomes one-sided, or if you’ve noticed that to her sex feels like chore rather than a way to bond and physically connect with you, it’s a bad sign. Also, look out for her body language which indicates boredom or even disgust during sex. It is a clear indication that your wife is not sexually attracted to you.

7. You feel “disconnected” from her 

Whether you believe in spirituality or not, it is easy to tell when a person you’ve been hanging out with is “off”. Whether you’re feeling something, your gut or heart is just telling you something’s wrong. You’re probably right 9 times out of 10.

Science has already proven that we “emit” certain hormones and release them through sweat, which can be subconsciously picked up by your partner. Attraction hormones that indicate lust and love will be smelled by your partner! 

With that being said, if you have been noticing for a couple of days or weeks that something is off between you and your wife and if she’s detached and acting distant, chances are you’re probably in for a bad run. It’s a clear sign she’s not sexually attracted to you.

8. Her body language screams disgust 

Any romantic relationship needs trust because it’s what keeps partners together both physically and emotionally. However, it can strain the relationship between spouses when a wife displays trust issues. Loose lips, eyebrows pulled down and seemingly unhappy face indicate she’s dissatisfied with you.

Trust issues can also show up in other several ways, including infrequent displays of physical intimacy, cold shoulder, and sarcastic expressions especially during communication. When kinds of gestures stop occurring, there might be underlying problems that need to be addressed. 

9. She taunts and belittles you

Beware! If your wife is suddenly acting mean to you, or if she tells jokes that seem to show that you are low in dominance and attraction, any slightest rude remark about you could indicate that she does not see you as sexually attractive.

It is a clear indication that she’s not sexually attracted to you if she makes jokes about your appearance, height, or any particular trait, taunts or belittles you.

Most often women respect the guy they’re sexually attracted to. It shows that the man has dominance and power. Belittling, taunting, overt criticism, and contempt show that she “dislikes” you rather than loves you.

Another thing to observe is if your wife starts to make you feel inferior or if she tells and shows signs that “she can do better”. If she excessively compares you to her past exes or some actor from a Hollywood film, it could be a warning sign telling you to stay away from her!

10. She is irritable and impatient

Frequent displays of impatience and irritability of your wife may be a sign of deep emotional or psychological problems in the marriage. Instead of going up to the conclusion, it is important to realize that other aspects of marriage can affect its strength. It’s not all about sex after all.

Stress is one reason why irritability may be elevated. People frequently bring stress from outside sources, like jobs, money, or personal issues, into their relationships. When your wife is dealing with major stressors, small problems in the relationship may seem big and she may become more easily irritated. 

However, if your finances and other aspects of marriage seem to be doing just fine, and you’re noticing a decline in affection and love while irritability and impatience increase, it could indicate that she’s going through some sort of relationship crisis with you. She might be realizing she’s not sexually attracted to you at all.

11. Your wife is becoming secretive

If your wife is becoming secretive and you are coming to swoop in like a Mr. Detective looking out for clues about your wife’s actions, it could be a clear sign that she’s not sexually attracted to you and maybe doing something sleazy behind your back!

Aside from closed body language and inability to address low libido, if your wife is frequently hiding her phone screen, deletes browser history, or acts suspiciously in the middle of the day or night, she might be doing something you do not like.

Acting jumpy when you’re around her also gives the impression that she hides something that you do not want to find out. Secretive actions often induce suspicious thoughts and when you find yourself feeling or being suspicious, it hints at disinterest. 

12. There’s no quality time together anymore

Sex creates a euphoric bond between partners. That’s why couples who are in happy marriages often report better sex experiences. Sex is not just about the mere physical act but is a lifelong happy-hormone-inducing activity. 

With that being said, the better the time spent by couples together, the happier they feel about their sex. If you and your wife are experiencing a colorless marriage where there’s no fun in hanging out together, it is a simple sign that she’s not sexually attracted to you anymore. You also need to observe if your wife no longer enjoys spending time with you. It might indicate that she finds you boring and stale.

Your wife might not be sexually attracted to you anymore because the thrill has faded. Don’t worry as we’ll discuss the most effective ways to solve this problem. Remember that a lot of people find themselves in this predicament, wondering what to do if their spouse doesn’t think they’re attractive. 

13. You have become like a “friend” to her

Becoming “just a friend” to his wife is the most painful thing a man can experience in a marriage. Although it is undeniable, to say the least, that husband and wife have to become friends with each other to form a lasting bond, friendship dynamics are different from romantic dynamics.

When she places you in the friend category, you will feel as if you are in a “friend zone”. She’s not romantically attached to you and just sees you as a means to get on with her daily life. 

She might not even acknowledge the fact that you two are married! She might even reject any type of romantic or sexual advances because to her you’re just a friend.

14. She’s more invested in other things

If your wife has been frequently “busy” with something like work instead of being with you, it’s probably because she’s trying to avoid more contact with you as much as possible. It indicates low libido.

It also means that she’s more invested in her phone rather than you, especially in a home setting where it’s just you two. If she’s more invested in doing other things rather than initiating physical contact or communicating with you, it’s probably a bad sign that she’s not sexually attracted to you.

15. Small problems to big problems

Picking fights with someone you love is neither a good sign. A person who truly loves her/his spouse will be compassionate, forgiving, and understanding even to the point of losing her/his pride. However, this might not be the case if your wife is losing sexual attraction to you.

You may notice more frequent fights, annoyance, and miscommunication. You might even notice that she starts up dramas for no reason. It is often a projection tactic to accelerate the breakup process and turn the blame on you. Beware of this tactic and learn how to properly respond. In this way, you are not being manipulated or scrutinized in the process.

16. She doesn’t address her sexual and intimacy issues

If you’ve tried discussing the lack of sex in the relationship, but your wife tries to shrug it off and even constantly criticizes you for asking for a conversation about it, it’s probably because she doesn’t find the sex enjoyable in your relationship.

If you have tried addressing your concerns in the relationship such as her being cold to you, but she insists that nothing’s wrong with her, she’s most likely not sexually attracted to you. Also, look out for outbursts of gaslighting and manipulation that make you feel like you’re wrong to ask about a proper conversation about it.

17. Tug of war for “power”

Relationships often have unseen power dynamics that most couples unknowingly abide by. In traditional norms, men are expected to lead and provide care, comfort, and protection for their spouses. In turn, women in the relationship will make the man feel loved and take care of them through various maternal needs.

If you have been noticing a loss of power in yourself and you are beginning to realize that you “beg” her more often, it is a clear indication that she is not sexually attracted to you. Women who are truly attracted to their partners will let them lead the relationship with ease. It will be the case if your wife is sexually attracted to you.

18. She accuses you of abuse, control, or infidelity

What’s worse is that there can be toxic and abusive women out there. If your wife frequently accuses you of lying, cheating, or being abusive in the relationship without any concrete proof, it could be a flat-out sign of “projection”. What she’s probably accusing you of is what she does behind you. 

Beware of this sign especially when you try to initiate a proper conversation in regards to her lack of affection. However, do not use this sign to conspicuously tell that she’s cheating. It might be hormones, mental health issues, and stress that cause her to become hypersensitive!

19. She does a sudden “makeover”

If you’ve been noticing that your wife doesn’t put basic efforts into looking good while she is with you, it indicates disinterest in you. You need to look out for sudden and drastic changes in her appearance such as changing her hairstyle, trying a new makeup look, or wearing something sexy while going out. It suggests that she might be seeing someone else.

20. Cheating, lying, and conniving

A disinterested wife’s last resort to happiness would be cheating. It may be subtle or flat-out direct but one thing’s for sure. If your wife is not sexually attracted to you, you’ll be sure to see her pay attention to and show affection for the man she truly desires.

Cheating can come off in various ways, and there are many clear tell-tale signs that she’s doing something behind your back. Whatever those things might be, one thing’s for sure. If your wife has resorted to these things, it is best to cut the connection and break it off.

What can I do if my wife is not sexually attracted to me? (5 things to do!)

Tackle the root cause of sexual disinterest

Is she losing sexual interest because of her mental health? Her stress? Her finances? Some problem back at her family? Or could it be you? Are you doing something that’s incredibly distasteful like not taking care of your own body? Take the time to recall the memories you’ve had with her.

The answer you seek is already within you! You know subconsciously what the problem is and how to solve it! If it’s solvable, just do what you feel like doing! However, if she’s already cheated on you or you have caught her doing like that, it is best to just let it all go and break the connection.

Unresolved conflicts or emotional barriers in the relationship may be one reason for a lack of intimacy. It is important to evaluate your past actions towards her and understand where you went wrong.

Release negative energy through productive habits

Your wife’s lack of sexual interest in you might give rise to unresolved conflicts in you and bring out internalized self-loathing and other negative destructive behavior. With that being said, it is best to visit a therapist when you feel like you can’t properly organize your emotions through these hard times.

Always remember that you are not alone and that you have the power within you to change your circumstances. Life eventually gets better, with or without your wife. Sadly, relationship and marriage problems can only be solved if the two parties learn to recognize the ordeal and work through it consistently.

In this perspective, you cannot force your wife to fix things with you or make her magically be sexually attracted to you in just a finger snap. With that being said, when you are dealing with heavy setbacks, it is always best to prioritize yourself and your well-being before anything else.

Remember, the calmer you are, the more able you are to assess and fix the problem. Learn to release negative energy through positive habits. Things like incorporating a sport into your daily routine, doing something masculine like going for a hunt or fishing, journaling, meditation, and reconnecting with old friends can be a good way to start your journey.

Embark on a self-improvement journey

Women, like men, are visual creatures. Women find attractive men to be more bearable in their attention and affection. With that being said, it is best to focus on improving the things you can improve, like adding more muscle (fit men are naturally sexier), fixing your body posture, developing good hygiene, doing skincare, keeping good health, picking the right haircut that suits you, and consistent gym workouts.

Whether you like it or not, women desire men with purpose, who have ambition and have something going on in their lives. Instead of chasing, do things that will improve yourself physically, mentally, spiritually, and financially! Believe us! You will glow differently in no time!

This is the part where you need to enjoy the process! Embarking on a self-improvement journey doesn’t just mean you are improving your physical look! Although it is just an obvious bonus, the real self-improvement journey starts with loving yourself and becoming more confident in who you are.

Over time, you develop good habits that make you more handsome and desirable. You gain confidence and masculine charm that can be felt even by other women. That’s when you know you have succeeded in self-improvement.

Give her personal space and take time to evaluate the relationship

If there’s no infidelity involved and you’ve assured yourself that your wife is as loyal as you are. Take the time and give her personal space, tell her respectfully that it is worthwhile to take some time to think about you and your relationship.

You can start your self-improvement journey while assessing your relationship. Is the relationship good for both of you? How many years have you been married? Is it worth fixing? If there are personal issues that you must resolve like a mental health problem or a family problem that has been affecting you, it’s time to resolve them.

Whatever it is, giving each other space is a good way to make sure that you can evaluate things that have been going on in your relationship. In this way, you two will have a clear head once you have decided to work things out.

Talk, be direct, and ask her if you two can work things out

When the time comes, initiate contact, ask her respectfully to talk things out and communicate. Be direct with your complaints and tell her the things that have bothered you. 

You also need to be assertive when speaking up and show her that you are not afraid to let her know what you’ve been feeling throughout the relationship. Let her speak. Let her communicate her thoughts and feelings. Listen to her valid points and make sure you understand the potential problems that she might tell you. 

Once you’ve learned those things. Ask her if she still wants to fix it and do it promptly. In this way, you’ve carefully maneuvered the problem and potentially solved it.

I hope these tips help and that you’re able to find solutions to your concerns about your wife. Remember that marriage is hard, and it is undeniable, but we’re here to help you navigate these prospects with ease.

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Craftkanya February 13, 2024 - 10:45 am

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